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Wendy, a veteran online dater from the tri-state area concurs.
“It sounds stupid and elementary,” she says, “but it shocks me how many guys—especially the ones in their 20s—don’t fully read the profile.
But the only question is, especially when it comes to the beginner in this industry, does it truly work?
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“What I would honestly tell you, flat out, is that just because don’t care,” says Wendy.
“Just because someone looks cool and has a good sense of humor doesn’t mean that a woman who clearly states, “I’m looking for marriage and children” is going to respond well to you … ’ doesn’t cut it, but something like, ‘I can’t believe you met Ryan Gosling!
’ is more likely to lead to a real conversation.” Wendy, who actually posts to her Facebook status every time something absurd happens in her online dating saga, has developed her own three-pronged, winning formula that she both uses and responds to for contacting potential dates: 1. “You’d be surprised at how many people neglect to tell you their name,” she sighs. “Reference what it was that made you think you and she might have something in common that made you want to reach out to them.
Our dating advice for men covers everything from chivalry to etiquette and the tell-tale signs that she’s into you.
Now that you’ve got all the expert dating tips, you’re ready to set up your profile and get dating.
Nothing is more annoying than a guy who takes shortcuts.” She cites the following example: “Say I spend an entire paragraph talking about how one of my loves is spending time with my sister and rolling around with her two boys. ’ I’m like, ‘Can’t you even be bothered to read the whole profile? If the other person’s profile says, ‘I’m looking for long-term,’ and all you’re after is hooking up, give it a pass.
’ Or, I’ll have stated that if you do any drugs at all—even pot—you and I will not be a match, yet I hear from guys who are clearly into partying.” Wendy’s cardinal rule for online dating is this: Don’t waste your own time and don’t waste other people’s time. Similarly, if you want something more serious, and all she’s into is random play, move on.” Next: Scaling it back [pagebreak] The problem for many younger guys when choosing appropriate potential partners, notes Wendy, are “the shiny factor” and “single focus self-involvement lenses.” The most frequent offenders, in her experience, are twenty-somethings just looking to hook up or find some instant gratification. “They see a tremendous rack in one of my pictures, and they’re mesmerized, and I get the IM or email.” (In fact, commenting on a woman’s physical attractiveness right off the bat can actually be a turn-off, according to Robinson, since it can be read as superficial.
From what to wear on a date to how to make a good impression with your behaviour, we’ve got all the dating advice in our Dating Advice for Women section a girl could possibly need ahead of her big date.